Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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