he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
