i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
