dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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