That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
