Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
