piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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