I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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