i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
