My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
