i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're a waste of cheezeits
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
that is very illegal...i love you.
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