Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
