I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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