He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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