"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
