Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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