Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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