Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
