I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize