sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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