nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize