Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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