I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
