Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Send help, water and tortillas.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
