just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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