How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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