i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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