And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
