I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
