Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am one with the molecules
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize