He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
