According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
