wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
