I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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