Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
