My hand turned me down
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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