The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
