So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
