I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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