Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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