I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize