Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
