If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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