obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
