Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
