you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
