Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
