They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
PANTIES FOUND
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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