So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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