Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
