i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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