You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
