i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
