im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
