Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
