you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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