I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
