Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
high people should be assigned attendants
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
