Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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