i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
