I wish my penis had an off switch
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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