i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
