his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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