I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize