Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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