Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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